Question by Nadine B: need advice, anyone ?
As-Salaamu Alaikum wa Rahmat Allah everyone.
i’m in kind of a dilemma, any ideas would be great, God Bless.
I’m 15 years old, almost 16 inshaAllah, and i want very badly to wear hijab.
but my father forbids it.
it’s very awkward for me to bring up religious subjects with my father.
I tried a few months ago to tell him that i wanted to start covering my hair, and he became very irritated.
he doesn’t see what i see at all.
my mother is fine with it, AlHamduliLah.
I tried to get my mother to talk to him about it, and she did and he just completely rejected the idea. he doesn’t really talk a lot about why he doesn’t want to me wear it, he just says no.
He says that when i’m 18, i can wear whatever i want, but as long as i’m under his care, i can’t wear the hijab.
Honestly, I don’t know how I can go 3 more years feeling like this.
it’s to the point where i feel so uncomfortable just being outside with my hair showing. There is so much I want to do. I want to begin working, I want to volunteer. I want to meet brothers and sisters, and I hope to be married in 2 years inshaAllah, but i’m so limited because of this issue..
here are my dad’s reasons:
he doesn’t want to to be billboarded that i’m a muslim.
my argument: hijab doesn’t necessarily indicate that i’m muslim. women of all different faiths and cultures choose to wear the hijab because they’d rather be noticed for who they are rather than what they carry.
Christian women. Jewish women. Even atheists (just look at the non-muslim hijabi on youtube).
Even if people do indentify me as a muslim, why is that a problem? It’s great that I’m muslim, AlhamduliLah.
he thinks if i wear it at this age, i’ll get too used to it.
my argument: well, i don’t plan on taking it off, ever. but it’s not sewn on my head.
he thinks i’ll be limited in this country.
my argument: he doesn’t know how limited i am just by not wearing it. I walk around feeling so ashamed. I go out very rarely, and that’s not in my character at all.
Saying that I won’t get hired for jobs is a myth. I see sisters working hospitals, airports. I see doctors and pharmacists. I see sisters who are teachers and bank accountants. Waitresses, and managers, and technicians. I see sisters in school studying to be journalists and lawyers. And EVEN if i don’t get hired, Allah Knows Best. He just doesn’t see what I see.
he says that no one in my family wears it and it’s not a part of my culture, that’s other people’s culture.
my argument: my family is my family, they’d love me even if i had a monster mohawk with 40 piercings and tattoos. why should that be a problem at all? my mother accepts it, all of my cousins and aunts and uncles would accept it. this summer when i went to visit my family, and we went swimming, I swam with capris and a t-shirt while they were all in bikinis and i stood out like a sore thumb. they treated me just the same. And hijab is not a cultural thing. girls of every shade and color wear it.
My father and I haven’t spoken much about it since a few months ago.
It’s so awkward to even bring it up, but it’s really an issue for me.
I was thinking of making a powerpoint, and presenting it to my parents on my birthday in march inshaAllah.
I don’t know if this is the way to go..
And I can’t convince him with any religious reasons (it’s compulsory in islam, etc), ……so if
anyone has any advice or ideas?
or stories to share?
I’d really appreciate it. Jazzak Allah Kheer.
=]
I know, thank you sister.
But really, I don’t know if i could just get up for school one morning with it on. he’ll tell me to take it off… there’s no way, he’ll think that i’ve gone crazy, maybe he’ll make me stop praying, or he’ll take away my books.. I don’t want to anger him.
I want to approach him with it gently, and somehow convince him, inshaAllah.
any ideas on that?
thank you guys so much
thank you everyone..
i may have made my dad seem stubborn..
but he’s such a great man, really. he’s patient and he works hard and he’s educated and he struggles through so much silently, May Allah Guide him. I love him, he’s just sensitive about certain issues, Allahu Alam.
I hope i didn’t project him as someone bad
I don’t want to stress him out. I just wish he’d understand.
may Allah Reward you all
Christina c-
lol there’s nothing embarassing about asking! as long as you’re asking the right people. asking before assuming is very admirable. =]
Yes, i am a muslim. When a girl reaches the age of puberty in islam, she is to wear the veil. Many non-muslim females wear the hijab for different reasons. Like nuns. Many Christians say hijab is mandatory in Christianity, because of different verses in the bible regarding a girl’s hair, and the virgin mary (peace be upon her) who would cover her hair and arms. Some girls cover just for peace of mind. Some girls cover as a statement, I’m not just a pretty image.
So muslim girls do cover, but you don’t have to be a muslim to cover.
I would like to be married in two or three years, God-Willing. No, I have no one in mind in particular… He wouldn’t have a problem with it, though. I hope not. He married my mother when she was 18 lol. =]
God Knows.
Best answer:
Answer by Chocolate Lover™ – Do You Dare?
Just wear it.
It is not haram to disobey your parents only for the hijab reason.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!